If there was ever a day when you just wished you had stayed in bed, then this was it. Wise man once said "always engage your brain, before opening your mouth." With the general apathy that seemed to be rife in the Ducks this week, I foolishly challenged the lads by offering to pay for the post match crates for the whole of November if they could beat the Spartans on Saturday, first mistake. After watching Brookesy shuffle into the clubhouse for the meet, looking like he'd just come in after a major bender, I accepted a bet with Pouchie that Brookesy wouldn't score a hat trick, second mistake. On the way to the game, listening to Dom Nevs prematch hype about really being up for the game and wanting to play a full eighty minutes, forgot he doesn't like the rain, the cold, Manchester and turning up, third mistake.

Never mind hey, if I had a bad day, the Ducks certainly didn't, I feel the boys have now started to find their feet after last seasons promotion, we started the season slowly but are now putting a few results together.

Playing against a strong wind in the first half, we spent the first ten minutes camped on the Spartans tryline, before Brookesy scored his first try, we should have scored earlier but try machine Tagg tripped over his own feet in front of the posts and knocked on whilst hoping to pick the ball up. Taggy did eventually score out wide on twenty two minutes after some great phase play by the forwards and neat handling by the backs to put him in at the corner. Spartans came back at us and after a period of sustained pressure got their well deserved opening try.

This is where I started to feel sick, Spartans now 12 - 5 down and exerting pressure threw the ball wide and in steps half awake Brookes for the intercept, 70 metres to go, last nights ale swilling around in his gut, pounding head and getting chased down by the winger, he looked like he was running pulling a parachute behind him but fair play he fell over the tryline and scored in the corner. Halftime 17 - 5 up.

The words of wisdom came at halftime from Captain Hearn (Senior) "Boys, we're playing well but need to play the game in the right areas in the second half," kick off short, Spartans recycle the ball and then clear, we kick the ball back to them, full back gathers, Taggy misses a tackle, Ben misses a tackle, Joe misses a tackle, Oater misses a tackle, new onto the pitch Cal Thomas comes in off his wing and flattens the full back, top tackle, one problem, Spartans recycle the ball and score out wide down Cal's wing. Classic comment behind the posts "why was Cal making the tackle? He should have stayed out on his wing." Simple answer "if he hadn't of made it, they would have scored under the posts." Unfortunately for Cal, he split his eye open and was only on the pitch for three minutes.

17 - 10 up but the Spartans are certainly in the game. From this point on however, the rest of the match was one way traffic, the lads played the conditions, the forwards were superb, Irishes, Pigs, great carries and everyone of them wanting the ball. We scored four unanswered tries and played, in the conditions some really good rugby. Petto got two, Brookesy got his hat trick and Cal Thomas came back on, to score a typical wingers try after some great hands by the backs.

Notable performances, Liam McGowan playing back row, Dylan was his usual superb self, Chrissy Mc was strong in the scrum, made some great carries, hit rucks and scored an even better try than the one on video, one problem the referee decided he made a double movement (we weren't convinced.) This weeks Duck of the Day went to Tyler Brookes, simply outstanding, with both him and Dylan playing out of their skins at the minute it's brilliant to see.

Diffy Duck, well the nominations were endless, the Bladdered Brookes, Taggy the Jug Avoider, bombed the first half try, scored a try and then knocked on over the try line in the second half (definitely not convinced), Ben Sadler Wells, looked like he was wearing ballet shoes as he got run over and slipped on his ass, needs to stop worrying about his team mates performances although I can understand the frustration, he certainly reminded me of another fly half who plays at the club. Dom Nev was the winner, undoubted talent but needs to decide whether he actually wants to be there or not.

Sorry I forgot to mention the return of our very own Mark "Spartanicus" Petterson, shot of Sambuca before the game calmed his nerves, he valiantly looked after the Duck before and after the game, took in the shower, towelled it dry, fed it and scored a brace of tries, looked like he'd never been away.

Small point, is this the first time, a father and son have both captained winning 2nd and 1st teams respectively on the same day?

Massive thank you to the Spartans, tough game, great hosts, we'll look forward to the return fixture.

COUILLES du CANARD

Mother Duck.